Love Letter: The Secret To Relationships That Thrive (11/16/22)

Well, I just experienced the biggest month of my life. At just 17 weeks postpartum, my husband and I experienced the sudden loss of his mother, and we moved into our dream home that we had been building for the last two years. 

While this has been insanely difficult, I have been reflecting on the strength of my relationship as we navigate grief and these challenges. My husband is my rock. All relationships will have seasons of stress – and how couples respond to stress tells you everything about the strength of the relationship. 

Life is all of it; consciousness means more feeling, not less, and many of us assume there is an “arrival” point of perfection where we somehow are unphased by things. 

I know living from the heart means I can remain calm amidst chaos, I can access my own inner knowing no matter how stressed I am, and I can bear all the feelings I am having without being consumed by them. 

The tension of life is something we must all learn to live with: 

🗸 we can feel ecstatic joy and grief at the same time

🗸 we can love someone and know they are not right for us

🗸 we can wish for things to be different and accept them as they are

 🗸 we can have the security and stability we crave in a relationship and the passion and adventure we long for

Your midweek mantra is, “My heart is open to all of life.”

Intimacy deepens over time only through challenges. 

Relationships often go stale due to each person giving up their individuality and maintaining the status quo in the relationship. 

I often tell clients, “If you’re unwilling to rock the boat, you’re not in a boat with your partner.” 

How many of you know that feeling? Swimming around, avoiding the bigger issues, all to maintain connection, but you both know you’re growing apart. 

Do you know what it feels like to have someone’s support during difficult times and their support when you’re doing well?

Love needs BOTH security and adventure. Tenderness and challenge. Individuality and connection. This is the magic of love. 

Many people are always PLAYING it safe but not creating safety in their relationships. Playing it safe looks like people pleasing, perfectionism, and keeping secrets. 

Creating safety looks like taking risks, setting boundaries, expressing needs and desires, and sharing real feelings. 

Creating safety looks like acknowledging when you’re in a season of struggle and knowing it won’t be that way forever. It looks like knowing how to support yourself and your partner during each season and opening to what’s real and true. 

You’ll only know if you’re safe if you take the risk to share what’s true, and then you are met with warmth and kindness. 

That’s what great couples do well. 🙌

If you’ve been dating, notice if you’ve been “playing it safe” even on your dating profile. 

Do you know I offer my dating profile writing guide in my $22 Dating Decoded Masterclass? I tell you exactly what you’ve been doing wrong so that you can attract the right person for you! 

Grab my Dating Decoded Masterclass by clicking here 💘

It’s time to be bold when creating the love you want. 

Check out The New Truth podcast episode from this week, where Kate and I share the truth about “How to Not Scare Men Away.” In this episode, Catherine and Kate dismantle the fear that many women have about scaring men away – and guide you back to being fully in your power when you’re dating. They share essential tools to help you break free from fear taking over – so you can open your heart to receiving love.  

I love you,

P.S. Trusting yourself is the most important thing you can learn how to do. This is what my program, Homecoming is about. It’s my signature, self-guided, foundational program to all of the work I do, and you can access it at any time. You are allowed to want what you want and need what you need and feel what you feel and learn how to bring your authentic self to the world. Click here to learn more about this program!