Love Letter: What they left out of the fairytale… (8/10/22)

I am writing to you right now with my 3-week-old baby sleeping on my chest and thinking of you! It has been a whirlwind these past few weeks, as any new mother might know, and one of the main things I am celebrating is the way my husband and I have not only maintained our connection through this time but supported one another in taking care of OURSELVES as individuals. 

Sometimes for me, it’s the little things, like being able to meditate while he holds her or go for a walk while she’s sleeping, but my mental and emotional health must remain a priority in order to be the best parent and partner I can be. 

The #1 thing that sets you free in relationships and ends cycles of dysfunction and codependency is the commitment to taking care of your own well-being rather than waiting for someone else to make you happy. I’ve shared before that many relationships fall apart due to self-abandonment. In the name of conscious relationships, you can only have a conscious relationship when the people IN IT are self-aware, emotionally mature, and self-responsible. 

Your midweek mantra is, “I am my first priority. I am responsible for my well-being. It feels so good to take care of myself.”

Relationships take ENERGY. So do children 😉 

It’s hard to have anything to offer your partner if you’re running on empty, stressed, reactive, and don’t have the coping skills to manage your emotions. 

I believe in the work of preparing for a partner, and it’s not about becoming a “perfect” person or having no baggage from your past. The work of preparing for a partner is preparing yourself. 

We receive little to no relationship training and then are just expected to know how to show up from the start. 

Codependency occurs when we have no coping skills and need a partner to be our sounding board/emotional regulation/source of happiness. 

We can heal and correct our patterns. It takes a lot of courage to look at how we’ve shown up in relationships and whether or not any of our expectations have been realistic. 

It also takes a lot of courage to believe in what you deserve and that you are worthy of a partner who is as equally committed to their happiness and inner work as you are too. 

Do you support your partner’s self-care? What about their happiness? 

In my relationship, we don’t need one another’s self-care to look the same, but we honor one another’s commitment to it, and then we are even more committed to each other. 

Right now, this also looks like having a lot of help with our baby. Sometimes, it is an act of self-love and self-care to ask for help! 

I feel very blessed to have both sets of grandparents and friends, AND I hired a postpartum doula who is right by my side daily, nurturing me as I navigate the newborn phase. 

Healthy love is teamwork, with all players contributing to the team’s success. This is being Open to Love. 

If you are ready to receive reciprocal relationships and stop being the one who does all the work and stop being on empty when you approach dating, check out my self-guided program, Open to Love. It’s time to clean up your relationship patterns, so you can call in the partnership you truly desire.

To learn more about Open to Love and see what I teach in all eight modules: CLICK HERE

Check out The New Truth podcast episode from this week, “The Truth About Why Your Relationships Feel So Hard.” Are you exhausted with dating? Have you only known painful, hard relationships? Are you currently in a relationship where you’re drained and constantly questioning things? This episode is for you. Listen to learn how to make relationships easier, pleasurable, and fun. 

I love you,