Parenting has been the most vulnerable and transformational experience of my life.
I believe in caring for another; we are all transformed. Whether it’s a pet, a family member, a child, or even a friend, it’s vulnerable work to care, and it’s vulnerable to recognize that as we care, we matter too.
I think women are consistently given the message that it is our “job” to be caregivers rather than, as women, we can care for others AND ourselves.
True caring is not at the expense of our own well-being.
It looks different at every phase of our life, and believe me, I roll my eyes at “self-care” now as a mother. Here’s what I know: caring for self is about making SPACE for ourselves. It’s about engaging in rejuvenating, nourishing, supportive, and nurturing acts.
For me, lately, this looks like the connection with my friends. This looks like meditating every day and taking walks – without my phone and not taking in any information and instead making space to hear my heart.
It is big work to prioritize ourselves and our well-being.
Your midweek mantra is, “My well-being is my responsibility, and I don’t have to do it all alone.”✨
Esther Perel, the brilliant relationship therapist and teacher, said, “It’s hard to be attracted to someone who has lost their sense of autonomy.”
As someone who has recovered from love addiction and codependency, BOTH of those things are rooted in chronic self-neglect.
If we were neglected as children, we naturally have a hard time caring for ourselves.
If we had a mother who didn’t take care of herself, as women, we would fall into that same pattern.
Self-care is not about frivolous things like getting your hair and nails done weekly. In fact, I don’t believe that’s self-care at all.
Self-care is about NURTURANCE. Self-care is about resourcefulness.
It’s about spiritual practice, movement, spending time with girlfriends, in silence, getting enough sleep, and eating nutrient-dense foods.
It’s about making choices to spend time with people who really respect and honor us rather than deplete our energy.
I chronically attracted men who took from me, who took all I had to give because I was giving on empty.
Andrew, my husband, is the most generous man I know.
A man who has been my village through our beginning years of parenting so that I can care for myself and our daughter, a man who is as equally devoted to his self-care as I am mine.
Of course, don’t get me wrong, I’ve struggled a bit since the newborn phase to prioritize myself in all the ways I used to, but there are some non-negotiables I’ve hung onto – like daily walks and meditation.
I want to tell my daughter how much she matters and show her through my modeling.
Check out The New Truth podcast episode from this week, “Reclaim Your Feminine Energy to Attract High-Quality Love.” We have a potent, powerful conversation with Women’s Empowerment Coach Amy Natalie from the Feminine Frequency Podcast. Amy shares incredible tips and secrets from her new book, The Feminine Way, which shows you how to reclaim your feminine energy and become a magnet to the life and love you desire.
I love you,