Love Letter: Words Your Partner Needs to Hear (8/30/23)

All human beings crave being seen, understood, and loved. There is nothing more intoxicating than being given the gift of someone’s undivided attention and delight in you being you. 

We all need many places to receive the knowing that we are enough, but the intention of a romantic partnership is that you have someone you can rely on who does offer those reminders. 

I have watched so many women settle for companionship versus partnership. So many women settle for the crumbs of attention, believing that’s better than nothing rather than holding out for the real thing. I love working with women who want to create the real thing. 

Conscious relationships are created. Loving, harmonious, secure partnerships are created. 

Long after the honeymoon phase ends and the initiation chemical cocktail wears off, partners will be left with the task of whether or not they will courageously continue to nurture their partnership with these words. These words make a world of a difference in my marriage right now, especially as we together share these same messages with our daughter. 

Your midweek mantra is, “I matter. My feelings matter. My needs matter. My dreams matter.”✨

Here’s the thing – these things aren’t only said, these things are FELT. 

They are felt because these words are transmissions through our behavior. This is what extraordinary couples understand. 

This is the magic of secure attachment. 

You could be with someone who says it, but you don’t have the behavior that matches it. 

Secure attachment is the experience of this. The experience of both partners behaving in ways that send the message – I CARE. I am here. 

Our bodies and our hearts are essentially always asking this question to our partner: “Do I matter to you?” And in healthy relationships, the answer is a resounding yes. 

Disconnection happens when we forget these things or when we’ve never really known what it feels like to have them. 

Disconnection is what ends relationships. 

For me, self-love and confidence are about feeling these things for ourselves first. Believing in ourselves, believing that we matter, and caring about the impact our decisions have on us. 

Self-love is nurturing our own lives, going after our dreams, and not waiting for someone else to give us permission. 

Self-love is choosing partners who have this kind of love to give. 

When people choose unavailable partners, when people chase love, and when women lower their standards, it’s often because they do NOT believe they deserve to have their needs met. 

It’s often because they believe it’s their job to love others, rather than receive love. 

I believe in the power of relationships and the power it has to transform our health and well-being. 

When we are happy in our lives, we become happy in love. 

When we become courageous enough to choose well, to wait for the one who makes it all worth it, we invest in a lifetime of health, vitality, and healing. 

We deserve to have someone we can RELY on, who helps us weather the storms of life, and who believes in our beauty and dreams. 

We can only receive this to the extent that we believe we deserve it, and I love supporting women in their healing journey to reclaim their worth standards and dream around love and partnership. 

Check out The New Truth podcast episode from this week, “What To Do When Your Ex Moves On.” If you are agonizing over your ex moving on, or anticipating the day when it happens – this episode is for you. We share important tips and tools to shift your focus, heal your heart and move on confidently so you’re not wasting your time in the ex-trap! 

I love you,