Love Letter: Do you always attract the same type of man? (6/28/23)

Last week we passed the summer solstice here in the northern hemisphere, my favorite time of year. We are also moving into my favorite month (JULY!) where I will celebrate 14 years of sobriety on the first of July, 36 years of life on the sixth of July and my beautiful baby girl will celebrate ONE year around the sun on the 19th of July. To say it’s my favorite month is an understatement 😀

I will be taking the first week of the month off from social media to really soak in my sobriety and birthday as I prepare some very special offerings that I will announce this fall. 

A child requires an enormous amount of energy physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually and I have a new relationship with rest. Maybe you’ll join me in slowing down for yourself, too. 

Today’s love letter is about the four energetic archetypes I’ve seen among women for the past 11 years doing relationship work. Each one has both gifts and shadows and our ability to choose how we show up in the world influences who we attract when dating. 

Your midweek mantra is, “I am responsible for how I show up in the world and my energy influences everything and everyone around me.

Inside each of the four energetic archetypes of dating are thought patterns, feeling patterns, and behavioral patterns. 

One way of knowing which energetic archetype you’re in is by paying attention to how you communicate. 

The child is classically a people pleaser and very passive. The child is also the one who is eager to follow the rules or scripts for dating. 

The mother is classically over-giving, and she may also be very complimentary and affirming of others on dates (and put herself down!) and shares what she thinks she’s supposed to say to appear “good.” 

The warrior is critical and judgmental of both others and herself! 

These are all the defenses against authenticity. 

It’s important to note that these energies are not BAD or wrong. They exist within all women; it is a matter of being able to choose heart-centered consciousness and choose empowered and effective communication that makes all the difference. 

It’s not sexy to learn that great relationships require skills, intention, attention, and effort. 

Nothing “just happens” by accident. 

Effective communication is what leads to deeper intimacy, closeness, and love. 

Authentic and honest communication can only occur when we share from our adult self – our adult self that is centered, emotionally intelligent, assertive, and clear. 

Communication can be respectful and kind, and we can all learn how to communicate well (and repair after disagreements well!). It’s also one of the many skills I work on with my clients. 

Check out The New Truth podcast episode from this week, “What’s Possible When You Let Go of Fantasy Love.” Kate interviews Women’s Empowerment Coach, Amy Natalie, and they dive into their journeys from letting go of the fear-based scripted life to claiming an aligned soul-led life and experiencing deeper love in all facets of life. Listen to hear them share about their new relationships. 

I love you,