Love Letter: How to *Choose* a Partner  (5/3/23)

Hollywood and love songs tell us all you need is love when it comes to choosing the right partner for you. 

For many years all it took for me was that someone else was interested. I didn’t pay attention to anything else. Women have been taught to keep the bar very low around what they expect in partnership, it’s no wonder it’s so hard to trust ourselves and to choose someone who is really good for us.

For 11 years, I have been working with clients around love and watching them grow in self-trust, self-confidence, and self-compassion around all things love. I’ve also watched them choose partners who are really good for them and good TO them. 

Your midweek mantra is, “I can trust myself to know who and what is good for me.”

We have to forgive ourselves for the partners we’ve chosen because no one ever taught us how. 

For women, especially, there are all kinds of ideas about what we “should” want and what would LOOK good in our lives versus choosing someone from our soul. 

We won’t know how to choose who is good for us if we don’t know who we are. 

You must know what matters to you, what vision you have for your life, what your triggers are, what your values are, and what you need. 

You also need to know that you’re worthy of being treated well and with respect. 

Who we are includes our wounds too, and knowing how to spot someone who is safe for us. 

When a woman is at home with herself, everything in her life falls into place. She stops tolerating people and places and things that don’t work for her takes responsibility for herself and her choices, and makes choices that honor who she is – not just in partnership! 

I was always searching for a partner, but I always ended up burned by each person I chose, mostly because I wasn’t doing the choosing. I was waiting for someone to choose me. 

Check out The New Truth podcast episode from this week, “Why He Won’t Commit.” This episode is for you if you are constantly wondering why men won’t commit to you or are in a pattern of them committing to the woman after you. Kate and I explain the number one mindset shift you need to make to have a committed relationship and how to understand the minds of men. 

I love you,