Love Letter: When you need to walk away… (1/25/23)
You know the saying, “When you meet the right person, it’ll make sense why it never worked out with the other ones?” This is one of the cliches that I really, truly love when it comes to relationships.
This is what I hope for you: a life that makes sense. Sometimes we don’t see it in the moment, but eventually, we come to understand exactly why things unfolded the way they did. Why we had to wait for the thing we wanted, why there was a redirection, why the break up happened, etc.
My last relationship was incredibly transformative – it rocked my life wide open. I learned through that relationship the power of letting go, the power of walking away, and the power of staying true to myself.
We have to be willing to take a stand for our own desires because if we don’t, who else will?
Your midweek mantra is, “I give my energy and attention to those that are psyched to give energy and attention to me. My desires are guiding my way.”✨
It’s big work not to make others feel “wrong” for what they want.
It’s also big work to stop trying to get someone else to be different, show up the way you want them to, or convince them that they are worth it.
In my Homecoming program, I teach the four biggest blocks to authenticity: people-pleasing, perfectionism, proving, and performing.
Lots of people think if I am perfect, they’ll love me. Or, if I show them how much I have to give, they will change.
I hate to break this to you, but this behavior is the path of self-abandonment, and it never works.
People don’t change because of you. They change because they want to …or not.
People want what they want, and many people are perfectly happy with low-risk, low-investment relationships.
There are also lots of people who want more.
If you are one of them, it’s your job to find THOSE people and walk away from those who don’t want what you want without making them wrong. It’s an art to stop convincing and punishing the people who aren’t on the same page as you.
If you’re stuck in this pattern, the good news is that you can learn how to operate differently, and I teach you how in my self-paced program, Homecoming.
May you find your person: the one who wants what you want and who wants you just as much as you want them, too.
May you learn how to transform the pattern of trying to convince someone to want what you want and learn the power of letting go, so you can make room for the right one to come in.
Homecoming helps you do that and more.
Check out The New Truth podcast episode from this week, “Transforming Your Triggers When Dating.” I break down exactly what’s happening when you’re triggered and how to transform your past pain into your personal power. Learn what healthy relationships feel like and how to no longer let your past determine your future.
I love you,