Love Letter: I can’t stand this self-love advice (9/21/22)

We are right at the fall equinox now, shifting out of summer, and I am feeling the energetic shift – even though in Charlotte it’s still 80+ degrees! 

No matter where you are on your love journey there is a core wound that all humans hold and that is that they are not LOVABLE. When you understand that you are lovable, exactly as you are, everything shifts in dating, friendship and partnership. 

Your midweek mantra is, I am lovable exactly as I am right now. I will let myself be loved.

Aren’t we sick of everyone throwing around “just love yourself” when it comes to dating advice? 

I’m sick of it being shared as a “be all end all” answer for people and the expectation that there is some arrival point in which we “love ourselves” and then are perfectly healed. 

Learning how to love yourself is not about becoming someone different than you are. It’s about healing the limiting beliefs you have carried about yourself, it’s about TAKING CARE of yourself and respecting yourself and being compassionate toward yourself.  

Self-love is a daily practice, not a destination. For me, it was the experience of being truly loved – by friends – that helped me believe in myself and that I mattered and had something to offer the world. 

Chasing romantic love is always rooted in an inner child trying to find the perfect parent. Chasing romantic love is about trying to prove that you are lovable, rather than knowing that you are already and therefore would never chase someone who isn’t reflecting that truth back to you.

Surrounding ourselves with people who love us is the practice of re-parenting so that we can make healthy, empowered, and aligned choices for ourselves. 

Did you know that it’s often much more vulnerable for people to RECEIVE love than it is to give? 

Receiving love is vulnerable because we’d have to believe we deserve and are worthy of it. 

Receiving love is vulnerable because we don’t have to DO anything for it – nothing to prove. 

Every beautiful friendship along the way of my journey of love has been so supportive to my heart. And, it’s an honor to LOVE my clients, friends, partner, and daughter. 

My signature program, Homecoming, is about rooting into your self-worth and allowing yourself to RECEIVE. It’s about transforming dysfunctional patterns of relating and learning to align with truth and one’s sense of confidence and personal power. 

Homecoming is a 5 module program for women, in a relationship or not, to discover what it means to both give and receive love in healthy, empowering ways. It’s the program to show you what self-love actually looks and feels like and how to confidently let yourself BE loved in your life. This self-study program is available for you to access now!

Check out The New Truth podcast episode from this week, where Kate and I share “How to Choose the Right Man for You.” We highlight the key things to look out for when you’re in the early stages (or any stage) of dating – to know the difference between when a partner is aligned for you and when your patterns are chosen for you. We share tools and practices to empower you to choose love from a healthy place. 

I love you,