Love Letter: You Don’t Have to Earn Love  (2/2/22)

February is here! The month of Love. Regardless of your feelings about Valentine’s Day (stay tuned for a great podcast episode next week about this!), I hope you remember the infinite well of Love that lives within your own heart. I also hope you remember that Love exists for you whether or not you have a partner and is not dependent at all on having one. 

If you are single and you DO want a partner, I’ve got something for you next week 😉

Your midweek mantra is, “I am worthy and lovable exactly as I am.” ✨

It is exhausting to try and be someone you’re not. It is exhausting to chase Love or think you need to prove yourself to someone when you’re on a date (or to ask them to prove anything to you). 

So many complain about how superficial dating feels, but we change this by going FIRST with vulnerability, truth, clarity, boundaries, and our self-worth intact. 

Sure, there will be people who behave like crap on a dating app, and there are people, just like you, who are aching for a real connection. 

It all starts with the connection we have to ourselves – so that we aren’t swayed by what other people think of us, we aren’t afraid to claim what we want, and we aren’t afraid to ask for what we need. 

When we think we need to earn Love, we chase. 

When we think we need to prove we are lovable, we perform on dates or over-function or try to be who we think they want, and then, of course, we are left feeling empty. 

Dating is about connecting, and you can learn how to do this well:

📱 how to actually have engaging and interesting conversations on an app

📱 how to actually get asked out rather than have a pen pal for weeks

📱 how to not get burned out and enjoy the process

📱 how to stop taking other people’s behavior personally

Check out The New Truth podcast episode from this week,  “How You Push Men Away.” Kate and I share all the ways you might be pushing men away and making it impossible for them to connect with you and, of course, fall in love with you. If you tend to be someone who moves too quickly, falls in love with potential or plans your future with someone after 1-2 dates, you’re going to want to listen to this! The good news is you can learn how to stop pushing people away and let love in. 

I love you,