Love Letter: I’m Calling Bs On This Dating Advice  (2/9/22)

So much of what we are doing is breaking free from outdated stories around love and relationship and busting myths on the worst dating advice out there. The dating advice that has you spinning to become “more” desirable / irresistible / attractive / alluring and thinking it’s your job to “capture” his attention or “make him stay” is the biggest BS of all.  

You are so lovable, right now, exactly as you are, and you have nothing to prove. The work of dating consciously is remembering that you are choosing too. 

Sheryl Sandberg has famously said, “I truly believe that the single most important career decision that a woman makes is whether she will have a life partner and who that partner is.”

Who we partner with has more influence on our health and well-being than any food, exercise plan, or meditation retreat. 

You are not looking for “the one”-  you’re looking for the person that is ready to do life with you and create something amazing with you. The person who celebrates you and who is there with you when you’re struggling. 

You cannot scare the right person away. I promise. 

Your midweek mantra is, “I am empowered by the choices I make in my life that support my heart and well-being” ✨

Here’s a dating secret – the more authentic you are from the beginning, the faster you’ll attract the right person for you. 

If you want to be loved for who you really are, you have to risk revealing who you really are!

Most of the time, the women who are following the BS advice are hiding parts of themselves and not standing up for what they want and then wondering why the relationship falls apart and attraction fades.

If you are someone who keeps finding yourself dating people for 2-3 months, and then it ends, this might be going on. 

Whatever you’re afraid to say in the beginning is why the relationship will end. 

Yes, this is vulnerable, and this is the work! 

What gets in the way of our authenticity? 

❌ people-pleasing

❌ proving

❌ perfectionism 

❌ performing 

All of the games we think we have to play in order to “capture” someone’s attention is also what gets in the way of our authenticity. 

You don’t have to do that anymore. ❤️

You can arrive fully into yourself, trust yourself, come home to a place of peace, and most of all, heal the abandonment wound that’s keeping you from taking risks required as an adult in love. 

Check out The New Truth podcast episode from this week, “The Truth About Valentine’s Day.” Whether you are single, in a new relationship, or in a long-term relationship (or anything in-between!) Kate and I will help you reclaim Valentine’s Day and liberate you from pressure, unrealistic expectations, and disappointments. 

I love you,