Love Letter: Love Letter: The #1 Relationship Destroyer (1/19/22)

Today’s Love Letter is all about the #1 destroyer of relationships… insecurity. It’s an issue I see many women struggle with, but it’s also an easy thing to course correct once you identify it.

Your midweek mantra is, “I am safe and secure within myself.”

When we are insecure, we hide who we are. 

We don’t bring up what we need or what bothers us, and we’re afraid to rock the boat. 

When we are insecure, we take everything personally, so our partner has no space to be free to be themselves. 

Processing your relationship all the time does not make it more conscious. 

Most of what our culture knows is insecure attachment, and the gifts of a secure attachment are immense. 

❣️ when we are loved well, we thrive in our life

❣️ when we are loved well, we can better live from expansion because we know someone has our back

❣️ when we are loved well, we love ourselves more and have more capacity to offer our love to the world

When we live in fear, insecurity, and doubt and are always afraid of losing our partner, everything in our life becomes smaller because we put the relationship on a pedestal rather than have it as one piece of our big, beautiful life. 

Insecurity also makes us either conflict-averse or constantly creating conflict because of a lack of boundaries and trust. 

Secure relationships include conflict. They accept it as part of relating but always do the work to repair, prioritizing the emotional connection of the relationship. 

Insecurity also causes us to settle, with so many unwilling to ask for more or have an equal partner. 

The ground we stand on is the healing work of cultivating confidence, connecting with our worth, and developing the skills needed to experience extraordinary love. 

It is possible for every single one of us. ⭐

Check out The New Truth podcast episode from this week, “Dating Multiple People.” In this solo episode, I unpack how to date multiple people and choose the best person for you. If you are someone who struggles with early attachment, gets caught up in relationships way too quickly, or wants a pep talk on how to date from an empowered place and stop all the second-guessing and games, this episode is for you. 

I love you,