One of the core truths of life is that EVERYTHING CHANGES.
Our happiness depends on our ability to handle change, accept change, and grow with change. We also must take responsibility for the changes we WANT to make in our life.
Part of the reason why change is so hard is because our brains naturally resist change. You may find yourself attracting the same kind of partners over and over again because your brain is actually seeking what’s familiar. I know it feels ridiculous to imagine that your brain would resist a healthy, amazing, committed partner but it will, until you do the work to create more comfort with what and who is actually good you. We only resist what’s holds the most power to help us grow, otherwise we wouldn’t resist it! Your resistance shows up as control, as blame, and as doing the same things over and over again and in NOT taking any action in your life TO change your circumstances.
When I think of what I watch so many people do, it is one of two things:
1. Assume that who their partner is in the beginning of their relationship is who their partner will be or
2. Imagine that they will be the one to change their partner.
Entire relationships are then built on trying to get their partner to change or resisting the changes that occur over time in relationship by controlling their partner and trying to control life.
Before Andrew, I never had a relationship last longer than a year. Andrew and I are going on 6 years together this summer. It’s so clear to me now why I couldn’t get past a year, I spent the entire relationship either trying to change my partner (so of course we were never really connected or having fun) or I was trying to keep things the “same,” by hiding my truth, being afraid he would leave me (of course they all did) and through managing my every move so I wouldn’t rock the relationship.
The vitality of your relationship is dependent upon bringing yourselves fully to each day and not resisting change, bringing conscious awareness to what’s NEEDED now in service to our growth and our Love. That’s conscious partnership. Healthy partnership is NOT two people trying to “get” the other person to behave a certain way, that sounds like prison and is super controlling. Healthy relationship is when two people can hold the awareness of WE not only ME. If somebody is unwilling to change and grow then yes, that’s usually why relationships end too.
This love, this life is one grand adventure and we all have *choice* over how much we wish to participate in our lives.
Only you know right now if you’re single and you keep doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results, that it’s time for something to change. You don’t even have to know WHAT – that’s where I come in – to help you see what you haven’t been able to see and support you into stepping into the magic of what it’s like to take full responsibility for your life.
Only you know if you’re in a relationship right now and all of your energy is going toward trying to GET your partner to change, to show up differentiy for you or be who you want them to be and you’re willing to learn how to STOP doing that so you can actually have the experience of Love you crave.
Right now I have space for *2* new 1:1 clients, the highest level of being able to work with me, for women who are willing to stop being so afraid of change and ready to empower themselves to have the life and love they actually want.
Send me an email if you’re ready and we’ll get on the phone to explore what it’s like to work together. I’d love to help you.