When You Feel Like Giving Up on love (Read This)

Sister, 

It is not lost on me that this can be a tough time of year, whether you’re single or in a relationship. It’s tough because this is the season of expectation – where the every day societal norms are HEIGHTENED because we think it’s “supposed” to be XYZ. Many of us can witness the illusion of perfection in our culture and know it’s not real and still feel grief. I want you to know there’s space for that. 

I also want you to know that if you are sitting here thinking you’re ready to give up your journey to finding a partner, you are right at a major turning point. You can either choose to shrink and close your heart, or recognize this is the birth place of a new awakening. 

If you give up on Love, you give up on LIFE. 

To be a WHOLE human means you embrace and accept ALL of who you are and ALL of life.  The full spectrum. The ups and downs and turn me arounds and the fact that life in INHERENTLY uncertain. The ONLY thing we have choice over is ourselves. Our maturation as fully embodied, healthy, whole, remarkable women is embracing this truth. 

To the woman who wants to give up -> 

that’s the easy way out. 

You’ve cut yourself off from LIFE. From life FORCE. From the Love that you ARE. 

I get it that you’re tired. CHASING love is exhausting. Trying to make love happen is exhausting. 

The freaken race to love isn’t fulfilling at all. 

A list of check boxes is not going to make your soul happy. 

A culture that says the only thing a woman SHOULD want is a partner and kids is a surefire way to burn the F out and feel like shit. 

It’s a culture that designed that way too. Because when you don’t love yourself or believe you are inherently worthy, you buy things you don’t need, you don’t speak up or out against injustice, and you stay small. 

A life where you keep your love bottled up for only ONE person (and a story that says there is “the one”) is an empty life. 

Love is for LOVING. 

Life is for GROWING and EVOLVING and BECOMING. 

You deserve wholeness.

You are SO CAPABLE OF LIVING LIFE FULLY.

It starts with taking ON the places where you’ve been afraid to look at yourself.

It starts with turning TOWARD what you’ve been avoiding (probably your pain, grief, anger).  

It starts with dropping the STORY that “single” is a problem to be solved and that a relationship promises happiness. 

Because it DOESN’T. 

If you want to give up – the only thing I want you to give up is the idea that you need saving. The idea that a relationship promises you ANYTHING. The idea that your WORTH lies in whether or not you have a partner. 

Give that shit up. 

But don’t give up on your desire. 

Because that is self abandonment. That is self betrayal. 

You don’t do that anymore. 

A conscious relationship is a relationship that SAYS YES TO LIFE. 

A conscious relationship is a relationship of two WHOLE people who are committed to growth. 

You deserve to say yes. 

You deserve to feel FREE and alive and happy.

This is the work I am committed to. 

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