Let’s talk about what happens when you do meet someone.
Are you someone who seems to fall in love with “potential?” Someone who hangs on to the person who says they don’t want a relationship but you secretly hope somehow, some day they will change their mind?
Love is a funny thing, isn’t it. Let’s get real together.
There is no such thing as falling in love with “potential.”
If you are falling in love with potential, or in what the future “could be” with someone you are not falling in love, you are projecting a fantasy onto the face of the person sitting in front of you. You’re not living in reality.
Love IS magical. It TOTALLY is. It’s magic + reality, though. Life is complicated and it works a lot better when our relationships aren’t so complicated. Moving too fast makes things complicated, falling in love with potential makes things complicated because it’s going to catch up with you. You aren’t seeing what’s really there. You are seeing what you want to see. This happens because somewhere deep inside, there’s a part of us that doesn’t want to DEAL with reality. Maybe you’re hiding a feeling of unworthiness and when you’re falling in love you don’t have to feel that. Maybe you’re running away from heartbreak and when you fall in love with potential you don’t have to feel that. It takes courage to feel our pain, face our wounds and arrive fully into reality. It takes courage to stop fixing, rescuing, or saving another person because then we can actually experience the gift of intimacy. We hide behind our fears and our wounds when we chase love, when we want to fix someone else, when we ignore red flags.
You are so resilient, beautiful and brave. You are totally capable of getting honest with yourself and turning toward the places that need healing. This is the truth of dating – whatever comes up for you when dating is showing you where you need to heal. Sure, dating can be brutal but if it’s SO brutal that you’re all over the place emotionally, so sensitive to every rejection, not attracting high quality people and feeling like the same thing is happening over and over again, that’s a GUIDE POST to where there is work to be done.
You are lovable, worthy, beautiful, special NO MATTER WHAT. Whether someone sees it or not. It certainly helps your chances of someone seeing you, the REAL you, when YOU believe these truths yourself.
The desire for love is a beautiful thing and I hope you never give up. I hope you have the courage to face the things that come up for you and are willing to ask for help when you need it. No more potential, you want the real thing. The real thing is always worth working towards, always.