You don’t have to love yourself first

Hi beautiful,

The message of self love is being preached everywhere (and I do my fair share of preaching) and I get it if you’re rolling your eyes. I get that it can feel really upsetting to have someone say to you “you just don’t love yourself enough” (and dear God I am not saying that to you) because if it were that simple we’d all have shifted our relationship problems, yes? I’m sick of this being thrown around and there is something to be said about what it ACTUALLY means. There is something to be said about women learning how to ACTUALLY put themselves first, make themselves a priority in their life against a culture that has brought us up to believe that’s “selfish” or “conceited.” This is especially needed for those recovering from codependency (which, aren’t we all?)

I am writing because I learned about love by BEING LOVED. I am listening to my clients share truly magical stories of meeting their partners and what’s happening for them as they are loved WELL. Love is healing. We only heal through love. I’m sick of the self defeating attitude that I just have to “love myself enough” in order to attract a healthy partner.

Let’s talk about what it takes to attract a healthy partner – –

No –

You don’t have to perfectly love yourself in order to find the right person for you.  No – There isn’t some magical end point when you’ve done enough work on yourself and now you deserve to be loved.

You are worthy and deserving now.

You are lovable RIGHT NOW.

Being loved *well* is the healing balm all of our souls ache for and may we find that in so many other ways, not just with a partner.

The magic, the invitation, is

Self Acceptance.

The place of no longer thinking you need to be anyone other than exactly who you are.

The place where you accept where you are on your journey, rather than thinking you need to be further ahead or the idea that you’re somehow behind.

The place where you allow your life’s journey to be your own, with no shame or judgment.

The place where you embrace all that is uniquely you, imperfect you, and still lovable.

The right person will shine a light on the spots where perhaps you’ve not been able to love yet, and through loving your partner you’ll cultivate even deeper compassion.

This work, relationship coaching, is transforming the relationship you have with yourself. Learning how to embrace the truths of LIFE, and your divinely guided story, learning about exactly who you are and being able to be yourself in the world unapologetically and unashamed. Then your light shines bright, beaming for the one that’s meant for you.

Acceptance is one of the KEYS to Love.

You are being loved well when you are accepted for who you are.

You are loving well when you accept someone else for who they are.

Wanting your partner to change is a losing game, and it’s a game a lot are playing out there.

You don’t have to play games anymore.

You don’t have to be MORE of anything anymore either.

You do have to be YOU, authentically and with respect, kindness, compassion and acceptance.

I have 2 spots open for 1:1 coaching before the end of the year.

Dive with me into the deep waters of your soul and to the unconditional love that already exists within your heart. Cultivate radical self trust in your ability to choose the one that’s right for you, to set the boundaries that protect you from harm, and to love in the way you’ve been truly designed to do.

Click here to send me an email if you’re interested in learning more about the work. I love that I get to love you, until you truly know how to do that for yourself too, and learn how to let love continue to flow through you over and over again.

Can’t wait to talk to you,

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