Your Picker is Not Broken
Sometimes women will say to me jokingly, “My picker is broken!”
To which I reply, “Your picker is not broken, it’s that you don’t know which part of you is doing the picking.”
The core of the work I do is emotional healing and re-parenting. What that looks like is recognizing that while it is easy for you to stay in your heart and be powerful in many areas of your life, when it comes to relationships you feel like you have no idea what you’re doing. It is because you have a little girl inside who jumps at the chance to come out and play when it comes to dating and relationships.
Your wounded inner child will pick the person who feels EXACTLY like Mom/Dad did, convinced that she will get this person to be different, this person to do what mom/dad couldn’t, this person will change and then I’ll be healed. She will pick whats familiar, the cycle of pain, not getting what she wants, feeling worthless, powerless, and unsafe.
The truth is our unconscious is going to do this no matter what. Often times what we think is a deep, soulful connection with someone is really just familiarity with another person, a person who reminds us of our childhood and who perfectly matches our wounds.
We know our inner child is running the show when we keep going after people who are unavailable, keep believing the we are going to get someone to change/change their mind about us, she’s the part of us that chases love, and the part of us that is impatient.
It is only your true self that attracts
True Love.
Your true self, the woman who knows her worth, who is connected to her heart, who no longer wishes for fantasy love, but knows she is the creator of the real thing. The woman who has done the inner work to love and respect herself, knows she’s deserving of healthy love, and learned the skills of communication, vulnerability, and accountability. She takes her time meeting people, she chooses the one she doesn’t want to change, the one she respects and admires and who feels the same about her. She chooses the one who feels like peace in her heart, not adrenaline, not drama, the one who she knows she will say yes to, every day.
Our inner child doesn’t go away, she just gets reparented. She gets a backseat position so that the part of you that truly knows what to look for, how to spot someone good for you, spot the one who makes equal effort toward you as you do them and makes the best choice for you, the one who will lead you to higher love, not keep you stuck.
This is the work, my loves, and I feel deeply honored to offer it to my clients.
If you have been struggling with this, if you are IN a relationship and find yourself not knowing what to do when you’re triggered (it’s your inner child coming out!), then I have a healing path to offer you.
Click here to learn more about how to work with me, and I can’t wait to connect with you.