The Fantasy of Love v The Reality of Love

Love is a spiritual journey because it is a constant shedding of illusions. The illusion of Love that we grew up with and have been fed through movies and the media. Let’s clear up the fantasy of Love versus the Truth about Love.

Fantasy: Love will always feel exciting, passionate, and fearless. We will always feel attraction.

Fantasy: Love eliminates feelings of pain and grief and sorrow and promises only ecstasy

Fantasy: We will never argue, have disagreements or fight

Fantasy: It will be completely effortless, always

Fantasy: I can do all my inner work alone and then I will be perfectly ready for a relationship and since I’ve done all my work my relationship will be easy and I won’t have to do any more OR I don’t have to do any inner work and I’ll just know how to do relationship

Real love: Holds everything, every feeling. Ecstasy and pain, magic and sorrow. We will disappoint and upset each other and we will have to choose to love each other. We will have to practice forgiveness and compassion.

Real love: I won’t always feel love. Sometimes, when I don’t feel it, I’ll have to create it.

Real love: requires my conscious effort each day. Every day is brand new and every day it’s my responsibility to show up fully. I am responsible for my part in the relationship

Real love: We are wildly imperfect

Real love: everything changes and we are always changing

Real love: My partners behavior isn’t about me. He/She will be exactly who they are and my response to who they are is mine

Real love: is so messy. We will have to talk about money and sex and taxes and values and children and Time and needs and fears and feelings and make lots of difficult decisions together

Real love: will demand that I come up against myself, in every possible way. My edges will get rubbed and rubbed some more until I am so completely and utterly myself there’s nothing left to hide. I will find that I am so much stronger than I think and so deserving of this epic love.

Real love: the work never ends, there is no destination and I intend to make sure my partner feels loved and appreciated every day

Real love: my partner can’t read my mind. It’s my responsibility to express what I need and how I feel.

The fantasy keeps so many in such painful, excruciating struggles and their feet are never on the ground. The fantasy fuels unrealistic expectations that leave us empty and starving for real love. Real love is grounding, humbling and messy and something we practice, not perfect. Grateful to be living real Love and supporting so many in having this true experience. <3

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